dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
