I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
