I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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