Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
