At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
im six kinds of drunk right now
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
