i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
