My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
