my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Apparently you make a good broom.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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