dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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