Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
well you can't waste a boner
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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