I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Also, beer. Big fan.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Randomize