wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
