are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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