She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
