I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
