There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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