was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
