Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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