dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
