if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
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The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
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We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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