I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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