I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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