i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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