if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Randomize
