i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
two words...techno handjob
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
