Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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