wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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