Have you finally orgasmed yet?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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