I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize