Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
