Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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