you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
