My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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