I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize