Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
