he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
