And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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