i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
