I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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