i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Text me some of your sweat
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
