If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
