what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
