i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
