i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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