Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
