are you still at the devil's house?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
