how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
