dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
