I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
