It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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