Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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