drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
