Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
