I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i think i have herpe
just one?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
