are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He felt like a one man threesome
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i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
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So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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