You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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