Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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