i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
