Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
