what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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