Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
soo... how was my night?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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