He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize