So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
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he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
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Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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