Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
