Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
