i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
