oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
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found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
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found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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