I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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