I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
